‘Can you grab me a sanitary towel out the freezer? I’m going to get dressed’

When I was pregnant, I was so focused on meeting my baby and on the actual labour itself, that I didn’t even contemplate the sheer impact it would have on my body and how I would need time to recover.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I had the ‘after’ part all planned out in my head and ‘recovering’ was not part of the agenda. What was I thinking? Certainly not that in only a few short weeks I’d be pushing a tiny human out of my hoo-ha, that’s for sure.

Many thoughts occurred to me during the first 7 days post partum and I’m going to share them so that I can remind myself what it was really like in years to come when I contemplate doing it all over again…

  1. A baby just came out. A BABY just came out. I’ve got to look, I’ve got to have a look. Where’s my compact mirror? (My advice to any mamas-to-be. Do not look).
  2. My stomach feels like a waterbed. Where are my muscles? When will they come back? Is this it now? I’m going to have to eBay a Slendertone this afternoon.
  3. Can I continue wearing my maternity knickers for the rest of my life? I love how comfy they are and how they sit so nicely just below my bra.
  4. I can’t walk so I may as well just sit here and eat. BRIE, PATE AND RUNNY EGGS. Bring me all the BRIE, PATE AND RUNNY EGGS YOU CAN FIND.
  5. Gosh, I’m tired. It must be getting late. Oh, it’s only midday. Never mind.
  6. I’m really enjoying these product-free 10 minute baths I’m allowed each day until my episiotomy stitches are healed. I feel so very refreshed bathing in a sea of my own blood.
  7. I need a poo. I’m not ready. I’m not ready yet. Please GOD, be gentle with me.
  8. I’m feeling a bit better, I might try my skinny jeans on today.
  9. I’m never wearing skinny jeans again.
  10. I just sneezed and I think a little bit of wee came out.
  11. Wow! My breasts are massive, that’s a bonus. Hang on, what’s that? What is this? Oh. I’m leaking again. I would have throught my bra, breastpads, two t-shirts, jumper, polo neck  and coat might have provided some absorbency. Sigh.

Quite remarkably, it really does get easier each day. By day 8 I was up and walking about with very minimal pain from my stitches and was able to sit comfortably without leaning to one side. (The leaning tower of E-pisia as I called it).

Our bodies really are incredible!

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